I want to leave this world. I believe this is hell and we have yet to realize it. The only path to true reality is suicide I begin to wonder if this is it for me. If this is really what life is supposed to be like. In an endless bliss world, the bliss would turn to nothing but dissatisfaction. I do not wish for a higher realm above, a better reality, for that will not exist in my conscious or physical body. I wish for complete nothingness, a silence… a silence I will not experience. I want to simply be asleep forever or not asleep at all. A quiet passing in bed, maybe. Halcyon. I have been thinking for a while.. this mysterious person. I seem to not be aware of my presence. I am so lowly, I forget my words mean anything. I forget I am someone to be avoided. Shame on myself, in reality, in ever thinking I could be friends with you. I keep forgetting a vital fact that I taught myself years ago—someone like me isn’t supposed to have friends. I assume I’m supposed to be alone for the rest of my life, and that is for the better. Grace, I have given myself, but a lowly insect cannot feel pain. Schrödinger pain, I would argue, because the pain receptors of an insect have never been deeply studied. I desperately reach my long mouths up to the grape.. they were sour anyways. They were all “posers” anyways. I wanted some juice.
talking with someone I don’t know. I wish the world would remember me as someone kind. Self obsessed faggot who doesn’t bring anything to the table. You’re so good, I think of everyone other than me as a higher being. So many good traits I cannot possess. I miss you! Forever, ein finite time, it’s running out, I’m gone. I wish we could’ve drove together and saw something. I look inside and see nothing. I look at you and see a shameful border
i am no longer funny